Our Tribe

Our Tribe

Monday, 23 April 2012

love is patient, love is kind.

So the boys drawing extravaganza continued today with this addition to our living room wall:

The usual Monday routine followed and today's activities got me thinking: Just because they can, doesn't mean they should. Just some thoughts but it seems to me that we, including myself, are keen for our children to do things far sooner than they are ready for. Extreme examples of this are: just because a child can be a soldier doesn't mean they should, or just because a child can fit up a chimney doesn't mean they should. Today's observations include To do things on their own. To stand in line. To have perfect manners. To be calm and reasonable at all times. To sit for long periods of time. To wait their turn. And for Plum: to cry herself to sleep. To go four hours between feeds. To be in bed before 7. Many of these things are acceptable adult behaviours which one day we would like children to be able to do. But does it have to be today? Many children are able to if we force them (like the child who is sent to nursery so that they can get used to it before going to school, even though it's another two years away) or coerce them or bribe them or threaten them but does that make it right? Is it our fear that they might not do these things in 15 years time or our need for them to fit in and not be a problem when we're out in public? 

Not sure I have any answers but am starting to become a little more relaxed and following my children's lead. If they want me to help them I will, even though I know they've done it themselves a hundred times before, today is different, today they are tired or ill or just need to feel a bit closer to me. I'm starting to question when things are absolutely necessary and does it matter if ...?

We're out and about enough to know that we have to queue sometimes, that adults eat at a table and chat for hours afterwards (almost always at my in-laws!), that mummy and daddy don't scream and shout and paddy on the floor, and one day they will be grown up too. And hopefully by following our example and without the bribe, coercion or threat but with love and patience and kindness.
The family looking at a parrot in a cage at the zoo by Bean
Stuart Little by Pumpkin

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