Previous to the shift the boys were allowed to watch two hours each day, after lunch, when Plum was sleeping, and that's what they did. They sat and they watched. Sometimes we would have a movie night together and sometimes mummy and daddy were just tired so they could have it then too! And sometimes they wanted to know about something so we would look it up together. The point is that it was always determined by mummy and/or daddy when it was allowed. The growing difficulty that we had was that firstly, it didn't match with our approach on every other aspect of our lives (whereby the smalls have control over what they do/ eat/ sleep etc) secondly, it was getting difficult to negotiate when we could use the internet to research/ watch clips/ programmes that were relevant to our interests, thirdly, mummy and daddy use screen based technology all the time for a whole range of reasons all the time, and fourthly, daddy works in social media and it seemed at odds with the things he was engaging with during the working day.
So we wanted to allow our children to access things via screens when they wanted to for the things they wanted to. We deliberately chose not to tell them. They were in the habit of asking if they could use the computer/iPad/phone so we turned our 'no' into 'yes.' The other thing we (mummy and daddy) challenged ourselves to do was not to use phrases like 'you've been on that ipad all day!' Or 'when are you going to do something that doesn't involve staring at a screen' etc and to spend time with them doing whatever activity they were engaged with.
It was noticeable that the first few weeks/months they boys sat and watched and watched and watched. We watched catch-up TV and films and YouTube clips endlessly and we watched them from dawn until dusk. But one of the things that happened fairly early on was Bean, 6, asking if we could turn the TV off at bedtime as it was making him tired. Now we don't have specified bedtimes but give or take half an hour it's normally around 10pm for Bean so we took this time and agreed that we would let him know when it was 10 o'clock and then he decides what to do. Without fail he turned it off and mostly went to bed, occasionally he might do something else for a while first. Now, he will take himself to bed before 10pm even if someone else is continuing to watch or play computer games.
I would say that we spent five months with every minute that we were at home with the boys playing games or watching something. We still went out and saw friends, visited places etc but always initiated by mummy. The observable difference in this time was what they used it for. They started to play Minecraft together and ask to find out more about different things and Skype friends. They became more discerning in what they used it for, it wasn't just 'I must watch something because this is the only time i have to do it in.'
Then one day Bean asked as we were eating breakfast, 'can we go to the park and feed the ducks?' He asked to do something that wasn't related to a computer/device. When we first lifted the restriction I was internally crying out for the day when they would chose something that didn't involve a technological device and a little bit of me skipped for joy but I have also been on my own personal journey: The learning didn't stop just because they were using a different medium to access the things that they love. And the activities they use the devices for are multiple and varied (as it is with adults) socially connecting with friends and family (Skype) is not the same as gaming or watching films or creating pictures or shopping and the things that interest them in each of these activities is as varied as all the other things we do and so is the learning that accompanies it.
The second noticeable thing that changed was the things they did whilst they were watching. In the beginning they would purely sit and watch, now there is colouring and Lego and board games at the same time. And sometimes one of them chooses to watch and the other will be somewhere else doing something else.
Thirdly, the things that they do on their tablets/computer have become a spring board for other activities. Bean has grown an interest in rocks and is starting a collection and been to museums to see different minerals and rocks and looked up where different stones are found. Pumpkin takes recipes from tv programmes and we make them together at home, or recreates a peice of artwork from cbeebies Mr Maker, or dresses up to look like a pirate and Plum collects certain items to watch certain programmes, she loves to wear her knight hat and sword watching Mike the Knight, use sign language when watching Mr Tumble, and have Woody and Buzz by her side when we watch Toy Story, mostly she sits and draws whilst the tv is on. None of these things happened seven months ago.
Fourthly, when we go to places where others are watching/gaming, if it is something that doesn't interest them, then they find something that does interest them instead of seizing the opportunity to do something that is restricted at home.
And at some point in the midst of the boys testing out the 'do mummy and daddy mean we can anytime we want to?' We found them both curled up in bed together, about half an hour after they had gone to bed, watching something! "We're only watching this one thing mum" "OK" and they finished it and went to sleep. It's not happened again.
And now, amongst requests to go to the beach/ park/ friends house/ museum, our house is full of activity. Activities like Minecraft and film watching, gaming and Skype, looking up how much the most expensive diamond is and watching YouTube clips of Stampy, activities like baking and drawing and Lego and filming, photo taking and seed planting, water fights and obstacle courses.
Do they spend more than two hours a day using devices? Yes. Some days they watch all day, other days they take in turns, some days they're busy with other things. Does it bother me? No. Are we happy? Yes.
And all the time the learning goes on.
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