so, here's our story:
We made a financial move from a two income family, to a one and a half income family, to a one income family over the course of five years. We didn't even consider jumping from two full time incomes to one, overnight and even if we had i don't think we would have been brave enough to do it. Falling pregnant with Bean was a complete surprise and we weren't prepared for any of it so we just took the route commonly travelled and I returned to work part time (two days a week) just four months after he was born. A financial need (or so we thought at the time.) We had already started to talk about home ed and had purposefully placed Bean with a childminder so that he would have a family home environment to be in rather than an institutionalised nursery placement. Grandma also looked after Bean one day a week at our house.
Having a second baby and no grandma meant children at the childminders for two days a week. There wasn't much left in the pot after that but we were considering the commonly felt need to 'keep my foot in the professional door.' The problem being that I was slowly becoming more and more disillusioned with the education system (I was a teacher) and had decided that home education was definitely the route for us. I stuck it out so that we could put aside a few pennies for when the day came that we would take the plunge to one income. We were very fortunate, in that, our childminder was happy to continue having Bean throughout his pre-school years.
And then, we took the plunge. Expecting Plum we wandered gracefully into full time home ed. And I have given up an income, my professional status, any significant pension, social standing (according to some) and all because we wanted our children to know that learning is not defined by what happens within four walls or what an exam tells you you're worth. All because we wanted our children to be guided along a Godly spiritual path. All because we wanted our children to spend more time in a family, filled with love and encouragement and support, than with strangers.
There is a cost involved in continuing to work: The childcare; the second car; the work clothes; the social events; secret santa; school supplies and gifts for the children; stickers and charts and prizes and the list goes on. It's that time of year where people are counting the cost of school supplies. And then there's the cost of children going to school: the uniform; PE kit; shoes and plimsolls (there's a school near us where the pupil's have indoor and outdoor shoes!); the name tags on everything; charity collections and Christmas Fayres, donating products and purchasing them back again; teacher's gifts ; school trips and swimming lessons; after school clubs; endless birthday parties; paying premium prices when you want to go out as a family; keeping up with the Jones.' I don't mean to sound like Scrooge we support our fair share of charities and projects but we choose them, we're not expected to or pressured to give to the charity of someone else's choosing. And I'm sure the financial cost of school goes on. Not forgetting family holiday's during the school holidays, costly.
That's not to say that home ed has no financial cost: there seems to be endless ice creams involved; memberships; fuel for outings; outings; craft resources; toys and books. We source information and experiences and life from friends and magazines and a lot of You Tube and Pinterest and love our local library. We explore the natural world around us and visit museums and places of interest. I'm not sure what the total cost is. Some of it comes at reduced educational rates, a vast majority of it, I suspect, we would have invested in even if our children were to attend school.
The considered loss of an income would appear to be the biggest cost but with three smalls, two pre-school age, one of those pre-free-entitlement age, the cost of any child care would swallow a second income, even with a career in education giving school holidays. I marvel at others who appear to successfully juggle working, childcare pick up and drop off, household tasks, family relations, and more, without a breakdown. Of course, the loss of income does mean, we live in second hand clothes, shop to a budget, have less pairs of shoes than others, we consider more carefully the value of the material items we have and purchase, we have to look after the things we have but at the same time not placing more significance on them than they are worth (people first), we learn new skills and take time to do things ourselves or source expertise from within our community and friends. It's a different way of doing things and looking at life but if there's one thing (and there is more than one thing) that home ed has taught me, it is that there are all sorts of people in this world, living all sorts of lifestyles.
But we must balance this out with all the things we gain: We gain emotional health, stable relationships between siblings, we watch our children grow and learn and develop and know each other well. I don't have to attend a parents evening to know if my child is 'happy' in school and what their interests are in or what their learning atm. Our family time isn't swallowed by homework or shared learning tasks, or me shouting at them to eat breakfast and get dressed (i marvel at mothers who manage to get multiple children up and out of the door by 8.30am) We're able to answer or help them to find the answer to the questions they have and are the ones who are there to console them when they fall. We're there when our children are sick, and they are allowed to be sick for more than five days a year, we're there when they're upset and when they're rejoicing, we're there when they marvel at the scent of a flower or are engrossed in minecraft. The small everyday things that we wouldn't be able share if we were apart for seven hours a day.
For us, the cost of sending our children to school far outweighs the cost of home educating. We are happy, our children are happy.
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