Eureka!

Friday 20th July 


A trip to nana and granddad's today. We are planning on staying the night too which involves a lot of luggage, mostly because we have to take all our bedding. We all share one room and the boys sleep on the floor, it's a bit like a camping adventure! 


We've had a real science type day today. It's not often I look at our day and categorise it into school defined subjects as so much blurs from one category to the next. But today... Bean asked what oil was as I was cooking French toast (aka oeuf pain) and what would happen if we mixed it with water. Investigation number one. 


Lunch involved chicken on the bone and Bean wanted to find out what was in the middle of the bones so we kept them and cut them open later in the afternoon. Imvestigation number two.  


Nana's garden was well watered by the boys and nana showed them wear to put the water so that the roots of her new fig tree would be able to drink it up. Investigation number three.


Daddy also took the boys to the park whilst Plum and I had a sleep together (precious times) there has been some craftiness (of the sticking variety) playing with Russian dolls, computer games and videoing on mummy's phone. Bean also helped with a large portion of the packing and unpacking today completely voluntarily and although it makes the process a bit longer it is so lovely to have a willing and helpful helper. The boys especially enjoyed taking the bending and suitcase up in grandad's lift, going along for the ride too.

Plum enjoying a story with daddy

Puppets made without following the instructions

Watering the fig tree

Drinks in the garden

Nana's Russian dolls

Making books

Playing with our food!

Cuddles with nana

love is patient, love is kind.

So the boys drawing extravaganza continued today with this addition to our living room wall:

The usual Monday routine followed and today's activities got me thinking: Just because they can, doesn't mean they should. Just some thoughts but it seems to me that we, including myself, are keen for our children to do things far sooner than they are ready for. Extreme examples of this are: just because a child can be a soldier doesn't mean they should, or just because a child can fit up a chimney doesn't mean they should. Today's observations include To do things on their own. To stand in line. To have perfect manners. To be calm and reasonable at all times. To sit for long periods of time. To wait their turn. And for Plum: to cry herself to sleep. To go four hours between feeds. To be in bed before 7. Many of these things are acceptable adult behaviours which one day we would like children to be able to do. But does it have to be today? Many children are able to if we force them (like the child who is sent to nursery so that they can get used to it before going to school, even though it's another two years away) or coerce them or bribe them or threaten them but does that make it right? Is it our fear that they might not do these things in 15 years time or our need for them to fit in and not be a problem when we're out in public? 

Not sure I have any answers but am starting to become a little more relaxed and following my children's lead. If they want me to help them I will, even though I know they've done it themselves a hundred times before, today is different, today they are tired or ill or just need to feel a bit closer to me. I'm starting to question when things are absolutely necessary and does it matter if ...?
We're out and about enough to know that we have to queue sometimes, that adults eat at a table and chat for hours afterwards (almost always at my in-laws!), that mummy and daddy don't scream and shout and paddy on the floor, and one day they will be grown up too. And hopefully by following our example and without the bribe, coercion or threat but with love and patience and kindness.

The family looking at a parrot in a cage at the zoo by Bean

Stuart Little by Pumpkin